Revealing the miserable moments she experienced in her marriage, Princess Diana said, "He ignores me everywhere. Ignored everywhere, and have been for a long time."
She was one of the most adored princesses of all time with admirers all over the world. Yet, Princess Diana still felt so unbelievably lonely that she went to the extremes to feel seen and heard in here own house. All that she wanted was her husband's attention but she knew that Prince Charles was having an illicit relationship with Camilla Parker Bowles.
Filled with despair over finding out that Prince Charles rekindled his relationship with her, Princess Diana made the choice of putting her innermost thoughts and feelings on tape. These tapes were meant for author, Andrew Morton so that he could write his book, Diana: Her True Story. The arrangement was made on the condition that her involvement would be kept a secret, according to the Daily Mail. However, many years after her death, the transcripts of her recordings were published. And they showed the world the miserable moments that she felt after she stepped into the British royal family as well as the anguish Princess Diana was hiding behind her smile.
In one of the tapes, Princess Diana reveals the drastic measure she felt pushed to take after feeling distant from Prince Charles. "When I was four months pregnant with William I threw myself downstairs, trying to get my husband’s attention, for him to listen to me," she said.
Before she went to such lengths, Diana revealed she had a conversation with Prince Charles where he seemed nonchalant about her feelings. "I had told Charles I felt so desperate and I was crying my eyes out," Princess Diana shared. "He said I was crying wolf. ‘I’m not going to listen,’ he said. ‘You’re always doing this to me. I’m going riding now.’ So I threw myself down the stairs. The Queen comes out, absolutely horrified, shaking — she was so frightened."
Despite the bruises she sustained, Princess Diana said that Prince Charles brushed them off. Princess Diana went on to say, "I knew I wasn’t going to lose the baby (though I was) quite bruised around the stomach. When he came back, you know, it was just dismissal, total dismissal. He just carried on out of the door."
Born as Diana Spencer, she married Prince Charles in July, 1981, at a young age and often felt pressurized by the daunting role, especially when she was pregnant with Prince William. "I couldn’t handle the press pressure any longer, it was becoming unbearable. It was as if everyone was monitoring every day for me," she said, as quoted by People from Morton's book.
Princess Diana was burdened by the pressure but felt alone in her plight. "I knew what was wrong with me, but nobody else around me understood me. I needed rest and to be looked after inside my house and for people to understand the torment and anguish going on in my head," she said on her tapes, according to the Daily Mail.
"It was a desperate cry for help. I’m not spoiled — I just needed to be allowed to adapt to my new position."
Things were also only made worse when she didn't feel the love or support from her husband. In another terrible experience that she describes on the tape, Princess Diana revealed that she once tried to talk to Prince Charles but said he wouldn't listen. "So I picked up his penknife off his dressing table and scratched myself heavily down my chest and both thighs. There was a lot of blood — and he hadn’t made any reaction whatsoever," she admitted.
Since the time she was young, she imagined her husband being a certain way but said she felt hurt to see Prince Charles dismissing her and her feelings.
Diana had recalled, "I had so many dreams as a young girl that I wanted and hoped—this, that and the other, that my husband would look after me. He would be a father figure and he’d support me, encourage me, say: ‘Well done’, or ‘No, it wasn’t good enough.' But I didn’t get any of that. I couldn’t believe it. I got none of that. It was role reversal. He ignores me everywhere. Ignored everywhere, and have been for a long time."
In 1992, the royal couple announced their separation and in August 1996, the two of them divorced after they reached an agreement where Princess Diana handed over her title of 'Her Royal Highness' and her claims to the throne. However, according to History, her apartments at the Kensington Palace were still hers and she could still keep the title of Kensington Palace and her title of the 'Princess of Wales.'