Marriage is one of the biggest commitments one can make and Whoopi Goldberg realized it was just not for her.
More often than not, when taking certain decisions and commitments in life, we do it not because we genuinely want to but because it seems like the "right" thing to do. Whether it's achieving a social status or being in a relationship, we're constantly in a fight to be recognized as a "normal" member of society that we forget we're individuals with our own dreams. And Whoopi Goldberg is no exception.
Not only is The View host a comedian, actress, human rights advocate, and more, she's also one of only 16 EGOT winners - Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony Award. With so many accolades, it would seem that Goldberg has the power to just be herself and do what she wants. However, it wasn't always like this. What many might not know is that the Corrina Corrina actress was married three times and not for the reason you'd expect.
It was in 1973 that 18-year-old Whoopi Goldberg married her first husband, Alvin Martin, before becoming a mother to her daughter, Alex. In 1979 though, the two got divorced, according to Closer Weekly. In 1986, she married cinematographer David Claessen and then divorced two years later. In 1994, she tied the knot with actor and ITSE union organizer Lyle Trachtenberg and finally called it quits in 1995. Now, The Sister Act star is living the single life and enjoying it. But you might ask what her motivation was for getting married so early and so many times. Goldberg's interview with The New York Times cleared that up.
When asked about her relationships, she said, "Look, people expect you to have a boyfriend. They expect you to get married. So I kept trying to do that, but I didn’t want to share information with somebody else. I didn’t want anybody asking me why I was doing what I was doing, or to have to make the other person feel better. But if you’re in a relationship, you have to do those things, and it took me a while to figure out that I didn’t want to. I’d be thinking, why don’t I feel the thing that I’m supposed to? Then one day I thought: I don’t have to do this. I don’t have to conform. I tried marriage, and it wasn’t for me. You can’t be in a marriage because everybody’s expecting you to."
However, Goldberg takes the blame on herself for the failed relationships. “It took me some time but I realized that trying to turn myself into something I wasn’t ready for, for a man. Wasn’t his fault. It was mine," she told The New York Times Magazine, as cited by Celebrity9. Despite the three divorces though, she mentions that she couldn't have been happier to have become the mom of her only daughter, Alex Martin. In fact, she explains why she believes no marriage will ever work for her. “Whoever comes into my life is never going to be No. 1,” she said, according to Closer Weekly. “The kid is No. 1. Always. And I could never explain that to anyone … That’s my priority, that’s the person I need to pay attention to.”
There is one condition under which Goldberg states she would walk down the aisle again. “The only way I could be married to anybody ever again is if they lived in another country,” she joked in a 2018 interview on Loose Women. “They could come and visit, it would be like ‘Oh, my goodness, I haven’t seen you in so long. Come here!'" But for her, living alone is what she chooses and she's happy about it. In 2016, she told the New York Times, "I’m much happier on my own. I can spend as much time with somebody as I want to spend, but I’m not looking to be with somebody forever or live with someone. I don’t want somebody in my house.”
Looks like The Color Purple actress has her life sorted and knows she doesn't have to apologize for it. She's truly an inspiration.