After the child's birth, "I'm beginning to look at him very differently," she said.
Giving birth to a baby is a process that is exhausting and excruciatingly painful. And a pregnant woman would happily accept every ounce of help and support she can get while going into labor. The last thing she needs is somebody telling her she is "embarrassing" or calling her names while she goes through the natural but difficult process of bringing a child into the world.
The woman in this story had exactly that happen to her and the person adding to her misery was her own boyfriend. The 20-year-old woman wrote about her experience on Reddit and said, "We have been in a relationship for 1 year and we had a baby boy last week. I had a natural birth and my bf was there throughout the whole process. I screamed A LOT and each time I did he whispered something like 'can you stop screaming, you're really embarrassing me.' I also threw up a few times and I saw him cover his face in shame."
The boyfriend could not even stand it when the young woman in labor held somebody else's hand. The young mother added, "When I held the midwife's hand for comfort he whispered 'let go of her, stop being so embarrassing.' He also said that my birthing position was embarrassing and called me a few vulgar names. I'm really upset about his behaviour that day, especially when it was when I needed his support the most."
What is worse is that after everything that took place, the boyfriend does not even accept ever saying those hurtful words. "When I try to talk to him about it he denies ever saying it and that I'm being silly..." the woman said.
While recalling other instances of his insensitive behavior, the new mother said, "He refused to go to the antenatal classes because 'men don't go'. I was the only person there without a partner, I felt awful."
Although there were instances in the past where her boyfriend treated her badly, it was only after the demeaning experience she had during her birth that she realized how terrible he was to her.
"There have been other times where he has mistreated me, but nothing has shocked me as much as this. I'm beginning to look at him very differently," the woman added.
When it comes to their baby, the boyfriend is of no help either as the woman said, "He isn't very helpful with baby. I do absolutely everything, he uses the excuse of he works so I should do the childcare. He does the fun stuff, but I do all the hard work."
A number of people in the comments offered their opinion on what she should do, including HuneBunch who said, "The abuse he showed during the birth, the acting like your crazy and claiming he didn't do those things......not good. I bet if you think back on things you'll see this isn't the first time he's gaslighted you and, I doubt it will be the last. Its hell living with someone who does that to you wears down your self-confidence."
loujules17 commented and said, "Please end this relationship. He was downright cruel to you when you were at your most vulnerable. This isn’t a case of him freezing or being unsure of what to say to comfort you. This was him actively tearing you down while you needed him most."
"Given that he’s not apologizing but instead denying it ever happened, I don’t think this is going to get better. Sounds like the beginnings of an abusive relationship to me," wrote formerbarracuda6.
The woman who shared her experience later gave an update and said that she left her boyfriend and is also considering therapy. She shared, "...Since I left him I've found that some of the friends I lost while I was with him came forward and it's felt great. He cut me off from a lot of my friends and family, sometimes without me even noticing until I stood back and looked..."